December 16, Red Riding Hood, you probably know the story. But there's more to every tale than meets the eye. It's just like they always say, you can't judge a book by its cover. If you want to know the truth, you've gotta flip through the pages. Oh, yeah, sure thing. Your face looks really weird, Granny. Your mouth doesn't move when you talk. Grandma's had a little work done. Now, come on over here. So, what's goin' on, Grandma?
This and that, doing a lot of quilting. So, you got the loot? What big hands you have. Oh, all the better to scratch my back with. Old people just have big ears, dear. And Granny, what big eyes you have!
Are we just gonna sit around here and talk about how big I'm gettin'? You came here for a reason, didn't ya? So tell old Granny what you got in the basket! What bad breath you have! What do I have to do, get a restraining order? Settle down, little girl.
MIRACLE Lyrics CASCADA
I'm on to you. You been dodgin' me all day, but now you might as well give up. What have you done with Granny?
I'm taking Granny down, and you're next! Chief Grizzly, are the suspects - connected with the Goody Bandit? Don't print that, Maxine. We don't know anything yet.
Is the house made of gingerbread? That's enough with the questions. Get these people back! All right, back it up! Let the chief do his job! Come on, you, with the feathers, back behind the snake. I just want to go home and hibernate. Breaking and entering, wielding an ax without a license, intent to eat. Any connection with the recipe robberies? You mean the Goody Bandit? The house belongs to Granny Puckett. You can explain it to the judge.
What are you doing? All right, so this looks pretty open-and-shut. Little Miss Rosy Cakes making covert deliveries to the goody tycoon, Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then Crazy Flannel Pants with the ax here busts in swinging vigilante-style. Take 'em downtown, boys. It's the woods, chief. We don't have a downtown. You know what I mean. Not so fast, Grizzly. That's the problem with you bears, always growling up the wrong tree. No, just stopping by to have a sarsaparilla. Say, Tommy, you lose some weight?
What are you doing here? This is my case. Well, someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave. I saw the lights, thought the circus was in town.
Now, of course, I see I was right. You're too late, Nicky. I got this case all wrapped up. They got us all wrong, Mr. Oh, I don't know, you look pretty dangerous to me. Go Flippers - Jump! They call me Red because of this red hood I wear. Recipes have come up missing all over the forest. Goody shops have been going out of business for months, and the trail ends here. I got a case to close. We've got four suspects, and that means four stories, and if you get people talking long enough, someone will spill the beans.
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I'll tell you what happened. What's with the handcuffs on a girl? Her wrists could slip right out. All right, get the cuffs off her. So, Red, why don't you explain how this all began?
Well, like any other day. I was making deliveries for my Granny's goody shop. It's a tired old tale but it still rings true - Hey, Red. But a sad song played at the back of her mind Oh Can someone show me a different day To take me away Take me out of the woods Great big world You know what I'm wanting for you You know what I'm wanting for you What I'm wanting for you Wanting for you Ahh!
Always red with you. Aren't you helping the Muffin Man today? Oh, he closed up shop. Someone took all his recipes last night, and now I'm out of a job. Gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry. Are you still running the cable car? Yeah, yeah, I am. But it's nothing like making goodies all day. Would a carrot crumpet make you feel better? Oh, boy, oh, boy! I can always count on you to deliver, you little rascally devil. Yeah, well, the woods don't go around by themselves. With the Goody Bandit on the loose, recipes were becoming an endangered species.
I decided to call Granny. If anyone would know what to do, she would. I don't know what to do. I'm just a tired old lady. Your recipes are the most famous in the whole forest, Granny. What if they get swiped? It could wipe you out.
Maybe I should bring you the recipe book, for safekeeping. A trip up the mountain is too dangerous for a little girl. I'm not so little anymore. Please, dear, you just keep the recipes there, and everything will be fine. The world is too dangerous. Turn into the skid! I'll walk it off. You can't go away. Who's gonna ride the Goody Bike? If I had wings like you, I'd fly all the way past that mountain, and the next one and the next one I'm just a kid.
I'm just a woodpecker. It means someone wants our recipes. Are they gonna get your recipes? So you deliberately took your Granny's recipes from the family vault, without permission.
I guess I did. Critters have feelings Well, critters have feelings Critters have feelings Well, critters have feelings too Critters have feelings Critters have feelings I guess running the cable car's not so bad, you know.
It's a great way to see the forest without worrying about all those big, mean, hairy beasts out there. The wolves and the bobcats and the mountain lions and the saber-tooth tigers! Look at me, I'm fuzzy You deliver up this far? But I was thinking about what you told me earlier. About the Muffin Man? I need to protect Granny's recipes from that Bandit's evil plan. They're gonna shut down everyone in the forest if we're not careful.
So you're the little girl in the red hood. That was quite a bit of falling you did just now.
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Those old cable cars on the You should write a letter. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. What are you doing in the big, bad forest? You taking the goodies to someone in particular? My goodness, she makes some good She's got a thing, it's like a Shortbread, chocolate icing between, very Ah, it's very good. You make deliveries to your granny often? I don't think I should tell you that. Oh, you don't have anything else in that? You ask a lot of questions, mister.
Well, I'm a curious guy. Let me have a look. I'd rather you didn't. Hand over the basket. You can't hold onto those recipes forever! I'll get you, and your little Granny too! Well, that settles it. I'd like to count my chickens after they hatch. You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping kids in the middle of the forest But we don't arrest people for being creepy.
You know that guy we got in the tank? Better let him go. So you went on to Granny's? I found an old trail up the north side of the mountain.
I'm looking for Granny Puckett's house. Granny Puckett - Could you stop singing for one moment? Did I, did I, did I doo-dah, doo-dah did-i-doo - Granny? I'm on my way to come see Oh, my dearie, I'm not prepared. I need to put down fresh doilies! Goat, my granny's in trouble. I've gotta find a way around the mountain, fast. Well, you came to the right goat Oh, good.
Thirty-seven years ago a witch done put a spell on me Yeah. A spell where when I'm talking I'm singing it with glee But when you're always singing you've got to live alone That's why I made this mountain shack my home That's great When you're on the mountain there's lots to be a-feared That's why this here old mountain goat's prepared Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do These tunnels, I need one that leads to Puckett Grove.
But I got horns that open bottles and I got horns that hold my keys I got horns that when you turn 'em right They help me watch TV I got horns that open pickle jars and horns that come with hair I got horns that hang my other horns I always come prepared - Can you help me find? Keep your hands and feet inside of the vehicle at all times! An avalanche is coming and I do not feel prepared It's rumbling like a mountain lion I must say that I'm scared And if not for the witch's spell you'd hear just how I scream But since I'm only singing I'll just yodel till we're creamed Aaah!
Use the hood, Red! So this wolf, he was dressed as your grandmother? And what big ears you have. What big eyes you have. Are we just gonna sit around here and talk about how big I'm getting? Then the fellow with the ax burst in? No, no, not yet. First I was attacked by that crazy wolf! My granny jumped out of a closet.
And then the axman cometh? Only he was screaming. The guy's pawprints are all over the room. Hold the phone, fuzzy-wuzzy. Let's hear it from the wolf's mouth. Wolf, may I call you "Wolf"? You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers.
Quit playing around, Wolf! You're looking at three-to-five in an old shoe with no windows! What do you for a living, Mr. You might as well confess. I told them everything! Could you keep her away from me, please?
Three years ago on the Stiltskin case.
You were snooping around for a lead on his real name. I was close too. I was gonna go with "Greg. Wait a minute, Flippers! You saying this guy's a cop? I'm an investigative journalist. You've probably read my column Facts and Fairy Tales. I spent the last six months undercover investigating the so-called "Goody Bandit. People think a health board examiner doesn't lead a dangerous life, but I will tell you, my furry friend, food is dangerous. That's why Kenny told me to come and take a look.
He said, uh, "Kenny, come down here," and so, here I am.
I'm surprised your dessert counter hasn't been hit, with all the thievery going around. I'm in from Japan. Well, Kenny, I'm gonna give you a clean bill of health. But I'm gonna need the names of all your suppliers. Probably called the FDA. You keep that thing groomed. And watch out for hot coffee. The little delivery girl in the red hood. Always on the go. More goodies pass through her hands than anyone's in the whole forest.
I was starting to have my suspicions. Who does she move the goodies for?
Where do they come from? Where are they going? And why the hood? I was watching the girl like you told me to. Did you see where she went? I'm way ahead of you. We gotta find out who she's working for.
Nobody sees, nobody knows. You ever thought about decaffeinated coffee? I don't drink coffee! I decided to get the word on the street from one of my top informants.
The shepherd comes by and sees me talking to you, I'm gonna get the crook. There's a bigger crook on the loose that I'm concerned about. Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now. Not like that Bo Peep. Brat put in an invisible fence. I tasted my own fillings for a week! The girl in the hood. You get around the mountain. Who does she work for? How should I know? I ain't that curious. Ain't you ever heard of Granny Puckett? You pulling the wool over my eyes?
Come up with that yourself? All I know is that the old lady lives up high in the hills. She's been known to take the cable car up the mountain.
Those sheep made me hungry. After this, we're grabbing a bite.
Should I call her? You should do the same. Hey, you deliver up this far? She's working for the old lady. That's quite a bit of falling you did just now. You taking goodies to someone in particular? You don't have anything else in that basket? We're gonna lose her! We'll never catch her. Suspect is approaching on foot, stolen recipes in basket. I'm about to catch her red-handed. So you really took a beating Get back here, you little brat!
You hungry for failure? Maybe a side of unemployment? We gotta get to Granny's before the kid. You're going over to Granny's house to surprise Red. Is it her birthday, or what is it? Is there a shindig? You know how to get there? In fact, I know a shortcut. He knows a shortcut. Over the woods and through the river No, you don't want to go through the river, you'll get all wet. You see, Twitchy, you get lemons, you make lemonade. And then that lemonade goes bitter and ferments and turns to pig swill.
Never trust a bunny with directions, Twitchy. Never trust a bunny! The bright side is, at least I finally dried off. Why couldn't I write movie reviews?
We are in a pickle, and I blame myself. That bunny was worthless, not to mention he wrote directions on an Easter egg, - which is hard to read. Hey, now, that's what they said at The Alamo. Hey, look where we are. But I was just Train Train Living like a bandit Now, this is a shortcut. Sounds like an avalanche! Well, Twitchy, that's natural.
It's just Old Man Mountain showing us who's boss. A box of candles! Wow, that's nice and bright. What kind of candles are those? Come on, let's get to Granny's. What do we do, boss? Lucky for me, Granny keeps her merchandise around the cottage.
Disguise was the only way to catch this girl in the act of smuggling. Hug your granny, little pudding pop.
OK, change of plans. You said the old lady was already tied up. I just write the news, chief, I don't make it. For a reporter, you have a strange way of doing your job. What can I say? I was raised by wolves. Let's have a look. I wanna do a gallery show. A coffee table book. I don't drink coffee.
A Chai tea latte book. Photos don't lie, chief. Now, I want to know more about this fellow with the ax. How does he fit into all of this? Maybe you should "ax" him yourself. I'll bring him in.
You're a big fellow, aren't you? I would not hurt a butterfly. That's a funny accent you got there, choppy. I can do the cowboy accent. Say, before you ride off into the sunset, hopalong, you think you could rustle up information? I will do my best. How about explaining what you were doing in the forest? I am working to make good my call-back! Paul's Bunion Cream has a soothing formula to make the bunions head for the hills!
It's a sad story, but there is a happy ending. She goes to live with her Aunt Plenty and Aunt Rose. She is very lonely until she makes friends with a servant, Phoebe and then seven cousins, all boys, arrive. Life will never be the same.
Their father has gone off to fight. It is based upon the author's life and the lives of her three sisters. Little Men Publication Jo's Boys Publication Darcy and prejudiced Elizabeth Bennet is complicated by their persistent misunderstanding of each other's actions and feelings.
There are many interesting characters. Bennet is preoccupied with marrying off her five daughters.
There is an impressive dowager aunt who intimidates everyone except Elizabeth. The amazingly conceited clergyman rehearses his speeches to young ladies.
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The story is set in the 18th century. Anne is a bookish dreamer who needs to be loved. Fred Gipson - ; American Old Yeller - The old stray dog certainly is ugly and a thieving rascal, but out here on the Texas frontier a dog is a good companion, especially with Dad away on a cattle drive. To survive he has to learn to listen to the call of the wild and learn the ways of his wolf ancestors.
Eventually, he falls into the ownership of John Thornton, whose life Buck saves twice. White Fang - A half wolf - half dog is nearly destroyed by the vicious cruelty of men.
The Sea Wolf Publication An accident ends his apprenticeship. In the days following his accident he meets Samuel Adams, John Hancock, and many other men of history.
Jonathan Swift - ; Anglo-Irish Gulliver's Travels - Lemuel Gulliver travels to a series of very unusual and heretofore unknown lands. In one place he is a giant compared to the Lilliputians. In another, he is the size of a mouse compared to the people he finds. He also finds a floating island and a place where intelligent horses are served by humanoids.
This was made into a movie starring Ted Danson. Daniel Defoe - ; English Robinson Crusoe - Crusoe finds himself stranded on an uncharted island off the coast of South America for nearly 30 years. He must find food, shelter, and clothing.
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He survives because of his faith in God. Many years after landing on the island, he saves a man named, Friday, who is about to be eaten by cannibals and Friday becomes Crusoe's faithful servant.
Being a religious family they offer thanks to God for all that he has provided. They salvage all that they can from the ship. They build a tree house for protection from wild animals, find food, make candles from berries, bread from roots, and a canoe from a tree. They face snakes, wolves, bears, and a lion, but are doing quite well until they discover a way to leave the island.
This was made into a movie a very long time ago.