A classic sex accessory Join AARP Today — Receive access to exclusive information, benefits and discounts After all, it gets awfully lonely waiting around for "the one. Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat.
They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. Every now and then, a familiar craving surfaces.
So how do you handle it? You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places bars come to mind.
But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.
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The next morning or even that night come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?
A few weeks later, she joined him for " a wonderful weekend " in his home state.
I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be. In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.
For men, the figure was 90 percent. And should they be propositioned by someone they found attractive, 48 percent of the women and 69 percent of the men said they would be tempted to have sex outside the relationship. Indeed, many surrendered to that lure in actuality: The truth about online dating for overs: Looking for coffee and more? Well, get over it! I did it because I wanted to have fun, flirt and meet men outside my social group.
I felt some trepidation about putting myself out there. Especially for someone who barely has an online presence.
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But 15 million people in the UK are registered for online dating and one in five relationships now start online. There are an overwhelming 1, dating sites, though, so where to start? I decide to try those recommended by friends and that advertise the best success rates: I go for the least level of exposure, with a black and white pic of me wearing sunglasses.
The site asks questions about my looks, level of education, lifestyle and beliefs, and then the difficult bit: I say I am looking for a slim, six-foot Caucasian man, easygoing, energetic, enthusiastic, generous, confident and funny. I realise I am describing my husband. Maybe I should be more experimental. I describe myself as slim, blonde, widowed, easygoing and ready for a new relationship all true and give myself the name Life Enhancer.
Before you can contact the men they suggest, you must subscribe. The men I find First up is Nottinghillbilly, pictured with messy hair, a beard and in a leather jacket. I then peruse Oddball, Goopile and Naked Plumber.
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A guy called Wayne winks, but on his profile I discover he is recovering from having his brain tinkered with on the NHS, and much as he sounds lovely, I need someone straightforward at this stage in my life.
LondonArty looks younger than some so I try him. He responds by asking me to come up and see his Samurai Swords. But I agree to meet Unicorn, a year-old retired construction engineer, for a coffee in the West End, where we both work. How it works Being a Guardian reader, I assume this will be dominated by intelligent, solvent and liberal Guardian readers.