That girl is watching it from far. KK spots that girl hiding behind something and remembers the portrait. Those eyes cannot be just my illusion! Director keeps asking KK why he is doing this. KK takes him aside. KK asks him why people hire him. Director praises him but KK tells him some other logic. How many people are here? The girl records everything on her camcorder. I will reveal your truth to everyone! Director is irked with KK. He does not know anything but has so many tantrums.
I will shoot myself once the shoot is over. He tells KK that his wife is ill and runs out. KK rues that he is surrounded by donkeys. Madhvi tells Rajan she is very much afraid. Rajan tells her everything is going smoothly. It is such a big day for Shivani.
She is so happy. That girl is recording everything. Madhvi asks Rajan about the harness and ropes. Does it not show on tv? He replies that it is taken out by editing. It does not show on screen. KK notices that girl recording everything. He remembers the eyes of the portrait that he drew last night. Shivani shouts for her hero as per her lines. KK is distracted by the girl. Slappy Home Comedy Center A state-of-the-art alternative to late-night comedy.
Hip comedian - Thomas; Slappy - Thomas 14 Steeplechase Part 1 Bob explains the game and chats with the contestants. Bob Link - Levy; Contestants: Barb chooses "Christopher Cross" and answers an equally difficult question about an author with the same last name.
Cornelius chooses "Leaning Towers", gets a question about Italian history, and blows it. Charles chooses "Months Ending in 'Vember'" and gets the first straightforward question: Charles guesses "September" and is disqualified. Moving on to the board, Barb and Larry only get started moving their respective pieces before they run out of time. Shine Liquid Detergent with Perini Scleroso Shine cleans so well you can see your own reflection.
Sammy Maudlin Show announcer - staff announcer 16 Sunrise Semester: Screen Acting V with Dr. They suggest playing poker and practical jokes to kill time waiting for setup and teardown of sets on big budget films. They preview Part VI- the difference between screen and stage acting Tobias: Videodating Gerry's got video featuring the woman he met and married courtesy of Videodating.
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The Doorway to Hell sequence is totally off the wall: The resulting set of bits is the most unusual in the SCTV canon, and in the end, the dummy steals the show. Gordon Lightfoot no longer sings every song ever written, as Supercalifragalisticexpialidotious has been cut. Double Love Two cock-eyed lovers find each other. Microwave Ovens Should you cook back bacon in microwave ovens obviously not, eh. Pepi Longsocks Pepi is ostracized by the other kids because he is different.
Harry's Discount Sex Shop: Harry's Library of Distinction The classics of pornography, in genuine imitation leather. Bobby introduces his brother Skip, who does a routine that bombs.
Joining the panel, Skip starts getting on Bobby's nerves and they argue in imperfect Yiddish translation courtesy James Gray: Vos tutsu tzu mir? What are you doing to me? Vos sich zehn mir? Verzogt tzu mir a tchainik! Gedenkst gevesen tzu bringen sie oyf dem Maudlin Show! Not very good grammar, but essentially he is saying "Remember, it was me who brought you on the Maudlin Show!
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Ver vays fun Maudlin Show? Who cares about the Maudlin Show? Du vayst uz siiz network. Du machts gelach fun mir! You know this is network. You're making fun of me! Du bist a nar! You are a fool! After an uncomfortable pause, William B says some words about real families, and the brothers briefly make up. His break comes when he plays for a society party, but his mother warns him against society dames.
Paul plays at the party "Dance of the Goblins" and impresses a society dame. They exchange some witty repartee.
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She becomes his patron and teaches him about living, takes him to the top, and then drags him down in high-style living. His concert at Carnegie Hall is cancelled. Paul plays Carnegie Hall at last. Al Peck's Sanitone Drycleaning We've got steam heat. The dummy asks him to get on with it, and insists they go through the door.
They end up in hell - and go through the only door, into a psychiatrist's office. They ask him the way out, and he says 'the way you came in'.
But the door is gone. Wilcox goes mad and kills the psychiatrist.
Suggestions Lacking a budget and ideas, Guy asks the crew for some suggestions on how to continue the show. The lighting director tells him to go to hell. So Guy goes to Tang and persuades him to extend Doorway to Hell. Tang, Wilcox and the dummy return through the door. They leave the elevator, but are running out of ideas. Guy comes out and asks them to keep going, then takes another suggestion from the crew, this time to do with Rome.
She leaves her country and tours the world, her eye-wear changing with each destination. Police Blotter In response to rising crime, Mayor Shanks takes a look at the day's police blotter courtesy police chief Deward Weiss.
Tommy Shanks - Candy; announcer - staff announcer 8b Doorway to Hell Part 3 Tang, Wilcox and the dummy, fleeing elephants, pass through a door to Caligula's hell.
They get conflicting directions out of hell from Caligula and his men. They flee Hannibal's elephants. Gordon Lightfoot - Moranis; Announcer: Half Legs R3 'For the woman in you.
In his office, Guy takes another suggestion, this time from his new lighting director, to wrap up the show. Tang, Wilcox and the dummy walk through a door into Guy's office. Tang and Wilcox walk.
Guy gives up and tells the viewers the show is over and to turn off their sets. The sequence where Guy takes the broadcasting oath is an incredible indictment of network television. Features a special appearance by John Marley reprising his role in The Godfather. The final half hour features two other longer sketches - 3D House of Beef and Vikings and Beekeepers.
Katharine Hepburn for Twillings Tea Katharine talks about her first time. Vikings and Beekeepers announcer - alternate announcer 2 The Godfather Prologue: Apparently Guy is attending to family matters The Wedding Floyd the barber asks Guy to punish Opy and the thugs that broke his barber pole.
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Outside, Guy's daughter Connie's wedding is in progress. Johnny Pavarotti arrives and goes straight for the lasagna. He sings a song. Later, Pavarotti asks Guy to get him a part in Bernstein's latest opera. Bernstein introduces Tom to his horse Signor Bruschino. They have dinner and watch Francis the Talking Mule.
Bernstein refuses to give Pavarotti the part. Turk shows a promo of Ugazzo Home Vision. After seeing the video, Guy refuses to back the deal, resulting in bad blood. The Street Caballero is cut down in the street buying magazines at the newsstand. Network War 1 The network newscasts all lead with the news of network war. Network War The television news headlines: Earl gives an editorial, but SCTV is hit before he can finish.
Earl Camembert - Levy; Floyd Robertson - Flaherty; gangsters, crew - extras Prickley informs Sonny and Ricky that SCTV's license is up for renewal, and that Guy, who is in hospital, has to take the broadcasting oath or they will lose the station. While he takes the oath, all the networks are hit. The Truce Guy meets with the other network heads and they make peace.
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After they leave, Turk emerges from the back room, and Guy proposes they split this pay TV thing and squeeze the network jerks right out of the picture. Long Underwear and Backbacon Doug explains long underwear, and Bob shows some overcooked backbacon. Dr Tongue welcomes us. We enter and sign the guest book. Dr Tongue takes us to a table and shows us the menu. He calls the waiter Bruno to take our order.
Bruno explains he's not just a lackey. Dr Tongue introduces Count Floyd, who will host the evening. Floyd tries to move some 3D glasses for 26 bucks and introduces The Polyesters opening act. In the kitchen, Floyd, Tongue and Bruno argue. The Polyesters are bombing, so they get James Ingram out of his air-conditioned dressing room. James Ingram performs 'Just Once'.
James refuses to play another and goes after Tongue for his money. A Johnny LaRue Production. Birkney's Diamonds Diamonds can mean anything. The Vikings and The Beekeepers The Vikings, tired of the routine of sacking England, attempt to torment the English even more by bringing over bees.
But the voyage proves difficult as the beekeepers insist the bees may only travel East at night. Broomhilde, goddess of compromise, offers a solution: The Orson Welles dialog was inspired by an actual tape of out-takes of Orson doing voiceovers for television commercials. Fireside Chat was cut from syndication; the Staff Party and Sammy Maudlin sketches were edited in syndication; the closing music was changed to Bach.
Gerry Todd is shooting some video of the event, a video record, if you will. Tex and Edna arrive, passing out Boil Bucks, and start off the evening's entertainment with the Auctioneer's Song. Some other vignettes - Earl trying to cut into the liquor line; the N Neat Guy at the bar. LaRue arrives with some gerbils, half in the bag. Caballero sends him out into the street to do Streetbeef.